Waves

by The Purge

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    This copy of "Waves" is a full-color glossy CD in a clear Jewel Case with a full-color glossy tray-card and 8-panel booklet of lyrics and liner notes. Main artwork by Rebekah Pascouau and design by Thomas Duerig (me). As of now, I assemble these made-to-order by hand. Because I assembles them myself with love, care and sweaty palms, please allow a few days after ordering for shipment.

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about

"...It's rare that any music these days gives me goosebumps. Every song gave me chills!" -Edgar von Graves of The Cemetery Boys

credits

released November 9, 2013

"Waves" was written, performed, recorded, and produced by Thomas Duerig on a laptop in his living room over the summer of 2013.

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about

The Purge Norfolk, Virginia

Thomas Duerig isn't just another emotionally overwrought and sensitive 20-something dude with an appreciation for the sublime, he's also been writing and recording music on his own for over ten years. It's rumored that he used to wear a rabbit mask for the attention, but today he writes music just because he can't help but not. He hopes to be performing live shows soon and being liked on FB. ... more

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Track Name: America
Glorified war
The immature beast of entertainment
I cannot sleep - I cannot stay awake

A haze of doubt
and a desire to kill myself
Protection from myself
I buy into the lie.

Normalcy will save us
How dare you say I'm in denial?
Heresy! My country
is kissed by God.

My self-hate and sadness
aren't worth the race I participate in.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
I don't.

Desires manufactured
by the labor of unseen hands
Close my eyes. Disappear.
Suicide.

There once was happiness
Now there is self-righteousness
Drowning in debt
I live in the moment

I wake up more tired
than I was the night before.
Distress. Distrust.
What is love?

It's coming. It could come:
A day when we live in equality.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
I don't.
Track Name: Heaven
Tongues, black and white, simple to hear, parade as religions.
Paradigms stand fortified, gracious for the abuse.

There are no soldiers dead and humbled.
There are no children raped and raped;
they grow old.

Smiling at the screen
I grow old.

Foreigners get put to death. Justice reigns
in the homeland.
Men, like children, hold their faith in heaven
and the media:

What appears is good
and what is good appears.
There is no need to believe in anything else.

We have this.

Under a black-light
we forget fears. Drunk with
Red and White and Blue.
Explosions ring across the world

but they can't kill us here.

There is no God
to deny us heaven. There are no mortars
ending life. We die young.

Wretched in the morning
We die young.

A story of an orphan girl, her mother's head
exploded open, is washed away
by a sea of smiles; a drunken march of youth.

What appears is you
And what is good appears.
We contribute nothing to this void.
We are emptiness personified.

We are emptiness.

Sound aborted from its fury
fills the airwaves through the night.
Someone dies as I turn the ignition
and drive.

There is no source of consciousness.
There is no wrong we can't ignore.
I grow cold.

Ignoring everything in the world that I don't want to believe,

I grow cold.
Track Name: Motions
I sleep until my bones break.
Siberia exists. I felt it on your fingers.

This is worse than denial.

You touch me like hammer's fall.
I dream to not exist. I hate
what's inside me.

I own a mirror, but I can't use it
like you.

I see jackals where love should be.
I see emotion where eyes should be.
I don't know how you laugh.
I don't know how you laugh.

Nothing is wrong.
I don't know how you laugh.
Nothing is wrong.
Nothing is right or wrong.

This is worse than denial.

This is "nothing is wrong."
This is "nothing is right or wrong."

Forget my emotions.
I'll go through the motions.
You'll forget my emotions.
I'll go through the motions.
Track Name: Violence
Hello, Violence.
You're a welcome sight, visiting my television
day and night.

I have so much to learn from you.
I have so much to learn from you.
I could be anything I want to.
I want to be just like you.

I am exceptional.
I have everything to lose.
I'm not afraid of violence.
I have the right to choose.

Violence, I love you.
You simplify the world for me.
Friend and foe distinctions
made explicitly.

We both think the same truths.
We both think the same truths.
I could be anything I want to.
I want to be just like you.

I am exceptional.
I have everything to lose.
I'm not afraid of violence.
I have the right to choose.

There is no debate
staring down the barrel of a gun.
It's not conditioning,
It's just harmless fun.

There's nothing we can't do.
There's nothing we can't do.
I could be anything I want to.
I want to be just like you.

I am exceptional.
I have everything to lose.
I'm not afraid of violence.
I have the right to choose.

I am exceptional. (We have everything to lose)
I have everything to lose.
I'm not afraid of violence.
I have the right to choose.
Track Name: Age
She stands,
ghost-faced, nails digging,
her clothes defiled;
the tragedy of love revealed.
Like a blind animal,
she meanders through.
Hope becomes miasma.

Twenty other figures with the same
motivations form a line.
Lights flick out.
All questions are forgotten. Enjoyment
is felt.
But it does not exist.

Vision returns. Now nothings is more lonesome
than being awake.
Scratching at her face,
the skin, it, breaks. And the bleeding
begins
another day.
Can this get thrown away?
These taunts of happiness:
Hair and Scent and Perfection
Eternity is laughing. While we talk
of Perfection, Eternity laughs.

Like unpicked fruit, desire
rots. All that once owned beauty
is filth. Unnourishable dirt fills
her garden. There is only this
meaningless
nostalgia and wasted time. She
pours a glass of red wine
and stares at a white wall. This has become
everything. This has become time.

A specter looms,
dark in the blindness. A shade
upon the light. He hovers low.
She holds to fear. He loves her
like the past. She is this.
Nothingness. She is this
Nothingness.

She's better off dead.
Track Name: Seized
I saw a woman seized in London.
Three men circled her like animals in the square.
She tried to run away but, drunk and tired,
they snatched her every time
and I watched and I did nothing.

I looked right at her face as she struggled
to make her struggle known. I could feel
her eyes bore into me. They were begging me
to say something, to say anything, but I was
paralyzed and afraid.

I didn't have an ounce of strength.
I am so ashamed.
Is this just the way things are?
What was I supposed to say?

I lived my life and left the country.
Flying home, I slept and read and forgot. In denial,
I sleep at night, not quite knowing
what dreams may come.

I didn't have an ounce of strength.
I am so ashamed.
Is this just the way things are?
What was I supposed to say?
Track Name: Waves
Waves x5

In time and sound,
our worlds crash down;
passing moments, hate profound.
The sand and sea,
my memories,
in your disinterest I drown.

Waves

I hear you crawling through the seas,
choking back the ocean.
I cling to my disease.
I won't live to love again.

Waves x3

I felt the touch,
you to me
soft like down around my heart
Me to you:
the weights around your waste
dragging you down

Waves x2

I hear you crawling through the seas,
choking back the ocean.
I cling to my disease.
I won't live to love again.
Forever with me,
frozen in the water, statues in time.
we take our breaths and then we die.
and I feel control again..

Waves x 2

I hear you crawling through the seas,
choking back the ocean.
I cling to my disease.
I won't live to love again.
Forever with me,
frozen in the water, statues in time.
we take our breaths and then we die.
and I feel control again..
Track Name: Suicide
There is a stigma,
right here and abroad.
We don't talk about it
because it's too strong.
At best, we wait until it hurts
too much to say.
By then it's too late to say
you care if I stay.

I've been thinking 'bout suicide
and what if I got myself
this time. x2

Yeah, it hurts to be alive
but it hurts much more to reveal
that I'm immobilized
by who I am and how I feel.

Would you understand me?
I don't want to disappoint.
I don't make any money
so what's the point?

I've been thinking 'bout suicide
and what if I got myself
this time. x4

I feel alone. (there is a stigma)
I feel embarrassed. (right here and abroad)
I feel weak. I feel small. (we don't talk about it)
I feel like I can't do anything at all.

*screaming*

I've been thinking 'bout suicide
and what if I got myself
this time. x4
Track Name: Nothing
I tried to ask you for nothing.
My tongue; the dampness
everywhere I went, all the love I could gift you,
I forget, I forget, I forget.

There was a letter I wrote you that I never sent,
helpless in the lamp light.
I ate too much ice cream and hated myself.
Nothing was great again.

I tried to ask you for nothing.
The grin of an augur
you kissed like the last time
I took the bullet for nothing
and nothing was good again

I told you in your mini-van,
if I could die your muse,
then I would die happily.

There's a figure of speech for me.
Always the bride's maid, but never the bride.
I dreamt of you in a gown,
and I then I dreamt of dreaming of death.

I tried to ask you for nothing.
My tongue; the dampness
everywhere I went, all the love I could gift you,
I forget, I forget, I forget.

There was a notebook you gave me that I never penned.
I left it in my dresser.
Sometimes I'll think of my story and I'll hate myself.
I'll never write again.

I tried to ask you for nothing.
The grin of an augur
you kissed like the last time
I took the bullet for nothing
and nothing was good again

And nothing was good again.
Track Name: Identity
You embodied me.
You engulfed me.
You were a brilliant, sun-bathed spray
and I was nothing.
You captivated.
I felt elated
to be given purpose and deemed worth living
by you.

You were my environment.
I was an organism in you.
You weren't weighted down by shame
like me.

You were enigma.
I was catastrophe.
Black and white, you colored
my world.

You can forget me
but I can't forget you.
You can leave me forever
but I will wait here forever.

When I was inside you
the world melted away.
I could have lived in your frame forever
and been a better version of me.
Inconsequential to you,
and, in fact, harmful,
I needed to know you
to know me.

You can forget me
but I can't forget you.
You can leave me forever
but I will wait here forever. x3
Track Name: Harmony
This world is harmony.
Nothing lives that does not die.
I've guarded emotions
like spiders guard flies.

Destiny will kill me
Tired eyes cannot cry
Harmony will kill me
Tired lies cannot die

Gods are strange devices;
make men more devicive
Expectations : Misery
Our possessions : Incendiary.

Destiny will kill me
Tired eyes cannot cry
Harmony will kill me
Tired lies cannot die

Myriads of armies
fight for positions
in space and history

Remember the wars
Remember the war:
Disinterest, disinterest, disinteresting.

Destiny will kill me
Tired eyes cannot cry
Harmony will kill me
Tired lies cannot die x2
Track Name: Dust
I breathe in dust until my throat burns.
I lay in wait while the world turns.
Once, I was young and life seemed bright.
Now the day is darker than the darkest night.

I was meant for more than this.
I was meant to be someone else.
I was meant to be in love with everyone.
Please believe me. Please don't leave me.

Why am I unhappy? Is it because I feel old;
older than I should be for my life to unfold?
I waded in waters of change. Now the river has run dry.
Nothing of me remains. I am too dead to cry.

I was meant for more than this, wasn't I?
I was meant to be someone else.
I was meant to be in love with everyone.
Please believe me. Please don't leave me.

The future is a dream deferred.
The past remains.
I, once, had greatness in me.
Now I have changed.

I was meant for more than this.
I was meant to be someone else.
I was meant to be loved by everyone.
Please believe me. Please don't leave me.